My uLesson Retro Party Experience
An email to my dear manager
Dear Manager,
The quintessential Justin tells me I remind him and the ever-gentle Enje of the iconic 2Pac Shakur. And you can guess why they believe I ‘look like 2Pac’. Yes, my closely-shaved head reflects even the soft light from the LEDs that beautify our office while giving us light. So, on Friday when Asake offered bandannas for sale, I got one. I would represent 2Pac. I ditched my former plans to wear a white shirt with chequered trousers to the uLesson retro party. Later that evening, I visited the barber’s shop and shaved my head more closely.
I vowed to break my weekend pattern of staying indoors apart from going to the market, to the church, and to work. I would go to the retro party. To be honest, I was not so intimate with what happened at this kind of party except that there would be a lot of dancing (which I am no good at), and there would be no official interactions, just vibes and more vibes. So I readied my mind for what I expected, kept my eyes open for what I would learn, and hoped to tell my crush something about my crushed heart. LOL.
Because I am a churchman, I had to teach catechism from 4:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m., which meant I would be at least an hour late for the party. I hurried home after that to don my big chequered shirt, jean trousers and sneakers. I did not tie my bandanna at home, so my neighbours would not wonder when I went rogue, but I left my shirt unbuttoned. Please, if you are going to use inDrive against Bolt, be prepared to face higher prices from the drivers. It befuddled me how drivers who would accept one thousand one hundred naira on Bolt, which demanded a commission from them, would ask for two thousand naira on inDrive when I bid one thousand five hundred naira — way beyond Bolt’s price. And these drivers did not pay a such commission to inDrive as they did on Bolt. Nonetheless, I was determined to have fun, so I dumped inDrive and waited for a Bolt driver despite being late.
The Bolt driver took me to Nuggets Hotel, and then, I felt more confident to don my bandanna, become 2Pac, and ‘try to hit em up’. I did not hit anyone. In fact, I did not have ‘all eyes on me’. I did not care because it was not my birthday party. I scanned the party hall where tall tables without seats had uLesson colleagues dressed in retro attire and being gentle men and gorgeous ladies. You would wonder if the cries for salary review were false. Where did they get all that money? LOL. Tchella was doing some game show upstage with Eugene and some other cool people. My scan did not stop: I was looking for my possible ‘California Love’. She was not there yet. But my search found another prospect.
She was beautiful, and I had never seen her in the uLesson group. I said to myself: She must be one of the famed Miva divas. Wow! My socialising sense, which needed and still needs some growth, informed me to wait for my first crush. So I went about greeting my colleagues. I was surprised to speak to Salewa in a non-business tone — that’s a trophy. Chidubem (product) and Dotun joked about being unavailable to solve any problems from the Tutor App that evening, and Justin confirmed my 2Pac identity.
Amongst all, Isaac was just Isaac the Ninja Boi (Machala!). His usual advice to party hard and go astray was not in his plan for the night. He was of the ‘smart opinion’ that Elohor (an empathetic leader) was spying to find those who would go to the extremes of you know what. I could not stop laughing. Machala! I was happy when he got his award as the one who had the potential to do great things outside his role in uLesson. The guy is just calm drama. The kind of drama in my mind when my crush stepped in.
I realised that one could not be late for this kind of party, and in the future, I needed not worry about being late. People were still coming in when my first crush arrived. My disappointment started now. I got up. All I could do was greet her and shake her hand. And that was it. Sad, right? I wished I could say more to her as the other guys did, but I would rather not say the wrong things. Also, the music was loud, and this meant that I would have to shout. Yeah. Disappointed.
My second disappointment vacillated between the food and my scarce party strength. The food was not bad at all, but I needed to get used to it. I thought Mama Bisi and Eniola’s chicken were better prepared. Also, I was not created with much party strength, so I quickly got tired and had to stand at a place or find a seat. I occasionally went outside to breathe in the fresh night air and gaze at the stars, hoping to see the Moon.
The Moon was elusive outside but may have hidden behind my new crush’s face. Just before I left with Jimin and Daniel (animation), I spoke briefly with her, and we exchanged phone numbers. She was not in Miva either. I took one more look at the party, and I realised that retro dressing was not so different from contemporary dressing. Maybe it confirms the saying that dress trends move in cycles. Speaking of cycles, I may be breaking the perpetual single-guy cycle, hopefully.
As the Bolt driver took us home, I saw the Moon regally presiding over the night sky, watching us amidst its royal cloud curtains. And so I sang:
“I see the Moon, and the Moon sees me
The Moon sees the woman I love to see
God bless the Moon, and God bless me
God bless the woman I love to see.”
Best regards,
Stanley Ezeogu
Hi! I bet you want to know what happens next. Here is what happened After the Retro Party.
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